What Mom-isms did you learn?
This past Sunday was Mother’s Day. I feel so very lucky to have my Mom still with me on this planet and I’ve learned so many things from her over the years. There were lessons on what to do and what not to do. Today, I’ll share a couple of my favorite Mom-isms.
Mom-ism #1: You are not a bus.
The year was 1982 and I was in the eighth grade at St. Anthony Catholic School in Steubenville, Ohio. I was both a nerd and a cheerleader, go figure! And, I’m proud to say that I’m still both. On this particular day, I had an outbreak of cold sores / fever blisters from a horrible cold that were in the process of healing. They were bad. My lips were super swollen, blistered and just awful looking. At that age, most pre-teen / teen agers are self-conscious, and not in a good way. I was no exception. Some of my classmates assembled outside of our home room and proceeded to taunt and make fun of me. It was awful. I made it through the day somehow, but was devastated and distraught by the time I got home. In Mom’s typical fashion, she asked how my day went. That’s when the water works started. I recounted the scenario in painstaking detail practically hyperventilating between sentences.
Then, my Mom, performed a minor miracle. She knew to disrupt my pattern. She interrupted me and said: “Melissa, I have a very important question to ask you.”. “OK” (a little annoyed that she interrupted me). “If I call you a bus, do you automatically, POOF, turn into a big yellow vehicle with bench seats, a bunch of windows and wheels?” Well, I thought she lost her marbles. I looked at her like that was THE MOST ridiculous question she could ask me. How was this relevant to my plight at school? “No, of course not, that is the most stupid thing EVER, Moooooooom.” She just sat quietly and let my brain do it’s thing. Then the lesson light bulb lit. As soon as Mom saw that I ‘got it’, she said, “That’s right, just because someone calls you something you, POOF, don’t turn into whatever it is they said.” She literally blew the boundaries of the problem away. I had no issue going to school the next day. I just smiled proudly when the taunting continued. I am not a bus, and guess what, you aren’t a bus either. This metaphor is helpful, especially if your company still uses a performance rating system. You are not a “superb”, nor are you a “needs improvement”.
Mom-ism #2: Change the channel.
My Mom studied early childhood psychology in college. She was a pre-school teacher and also worked with developmentally delayed children. She has the patience of a saint, seriously. Through her studies, she learned that we are in control of our thoughts, therefore our behaviors. When working with ‘littles’, teaching this concept really isn’t helpful. But demonstrating it, is very powerful. When I was a ‘little’, there was a time when I had a horrible dream. It woke me up and I couldn’t get back to sleep. I was in the grip of fear. This is not an unusual experience for most kids. My Mom, metaphor master, started talking to me about a radio. She described the old school radio in the car. She talked about the dials on the left and the right. When we moved them, the red indicator would go to a different station number. She talked about the different types of music we listened to. She placed her fingers on each side of my temples like there were radio knobs there. She talked about when there are scary dreams or thoughts, it was as simple as changing the channel on the radio. She then made it fun by adjusting my mental radio knobs and talked about fun, happy, images or songs as she did it. Mom then asked which channel I would like l to leave on for the rest of the night. It worked like a charm. I went back to sleep and slept the whole night. And, honestly, I don’t recall any more times where I couldn’t get back to sleep when a bad dream interrupted the night. Just, change the channel.
What did your Mom teach you?
For many, our Mom is our first coach. I hope you found my Mom-isms helpful. They are simple, yet profound. Working with a coach is a similar experience. It undoubtedly is an investment in yourself and aren’t you worth it?
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As adults we spend the bulk of our waking hours ‘at work’. We only have a finite amount of time on this planet, and you can choose how to spend that time. I wish you much success on your career quest. Yours in balance, learning, growth and harmony. – Melissa DeLuca, CEO
My mom taught me to lighten up and to laugh & have fun!
YES! I love it.