Temerity, Tenacity and Tact – A change in perspective
Tenacity is the quality of being determined. Temerity is excessive confidence or boldness, which can be both seen as a positive or a negative thing depending on context. Tact is adroitness and sensitivity in dealing with others or with difficult issues. Temerity, tenacity, and tact. It is possible to possess and demonstrate all three! Recently, an experience has reminded me of that. It was interesting to learn that I had a presupposition around temerity but the tact demonstrated brought me around to see the error of my thinking. Let me explain…
What is a presupposition:
A thing tacitly assumed at the beginning of a line of argument, or a course of action is a presupposition. You know what assumptions due, right? ‘Ass’ – U – Me = Assume.
Temerity, The context:
First, I can’t stand excessive confidence, at least that is what I thought. Secondly, I associated (notice past tense) temerity with a lot of negative behaviors like bragging, boasting, getting ahead at the expense of others, selfishness (and not in a good way), interrupting, lack of empathy. You get the picture. Third, the root of this thinking goes way back to my sales days. The high-tech sales culture was tough, period. Consequently, one had to develop a thick skin. There was A LOT of excessive confidence, by my old definition, demonstrated. Additionally, one had to be determined to exceed expectations and deliver exceptional results. In other words, tenacious. To me, in a sales organization, temerity and tenacity were two bookends.
Fast forward:
I had a business exchange with an individual that demonstrated temerity, in the most positive way. This person was uber-bold in their assertions. Yet, they held space with a strong, quiet confidence that was impressive. The situation had the potential to get contentious. But, it didn’t. The tact, sensory acuity, and rapport this individual had with the people involved made the difference. As a refresher, over 70% of communication is non-verbal. This person embraced that fact. They were very skilled at ‘reading’ the room. Therefore, they called out what wasn’t being said. They did this from a place of integrity and filled with kindness. It was palpable. Finally, they demonstrated flexibility. Their willingness to build a different strategy to accomplish the same goal WITH the people involved. It was a beautiful thing to witness. In my opinion, this person Dared to Lead (per my previous blog series).
Brene outlines daring (conscious) leadership as a collection of four skill sets that are 100% teachable, observable, and measurable. The foundational skill set is “Rumbling with Vulnerability.” The other three skill sets: Living into Our Values, Braving Trust, and Learning to Rise
The debrief:
I was curious to learn this person’s thoughts on the meeting. The agenda was torpedoed. Their response was impressive. They shared they had learned that adaptive leadership built on respect and rapport is a more effective method for them. They consistently challenge themselves to be the most flexible. AND, ‘inquisitive’ to learn from the people around them. For this person, demonstrating temerity in a positive way matters. Consequently, brilliant! And, kudos… you know who you are.
Therefore, I dare you to lead! We only have a finite amount of time on this planet, and you can choose how to spend that time. Anoush Shafique, Director of the London School of Economics shares “In the past jobs were about muscles, now they are about brains, but in the future, they will be about the heart.”
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Finally, I wish you much success in your career quest. Yours in balance, learning, growth, and harmony. – Melissa DeLuca, CEO
