R is for Responsible and Realistic, A Really Rad Concept
How can I get over my aversion to being responsible?
We’ve been working with the SMART goaling process this month. Today we’ll unpack the “R”, which stands for responsible and realistic. It is January, you know, the time for resolutions, award seasons and first quarter sales kick-off(s). It’s also the time where that internal dialogue can be REALLY LOUD! “I’m going to lose the weight.” “I am going to get that promotion at work.” “I am going to double my income.” Equally, there can be a counter voice. Sometimes it’s barely audible. Sometimes it’s more like a feeling. “Yeah, but I haven’t succeeded before.” “I’m not meant to have a strong, beautiful body.” “I’m not worth more money because…” You may not hear the words, but the feeling can be a sense of lingering doubt to frustration or even anxiety.
Setting SMART goals and enlisting the help of a trusted advisor, mentor, coach can be instrumental in working through the things that may be holding you back. Check out more about the four requisites for change here: https://www.delucawillow.com/ive-got-career-itchy-feet/
SMART goals came from research that began in the 60s with Dr. Edwin Locke and Dr. Gary Lantham. Others have added the importance of the mindest, both conscious and unconscious, in goal work, like Richard Bandler and John Grinder founders of Neurolingusitic Programming (NLP).
The SMART goal setting process is powerful, especially applied to your career or life. In earlier blog posts I talked at AIM and SMART end goals. As a reminder, SMART stands for:
S = Simple and Specific
M = Measurable and Meaningful to me
A = Achievable, As if Now, All Areas of my life
R = Responsible / Ecological, Realistic
T = Timed and Toward what I want
Today is brought to you by the letter “R”.
I remember a time when I dreaded the word ‘responsible’. It brought up a whole lot of ideas around ‘limits’, ‘lack of fun’ and even boredom. In the corporate world, we used to run a process around a project where we would determine who was accountable, who was responsible, who was consulted and who needed to be informed. Again, I dreaded (but accepted glady) getting assigned the “R” because that usually meant a lot more work and that I was the ‘do-er’ in the project. And, as one of my former managers said, ‘you are the worker bee’. She thought she was being funny. She quickly tried to recover saying that worker bees were needed for the vitality of the hive. The hive couldn’t exist without the worker bees. Really? But, I gave her points for effort. So, my aversion to “R” has a long history. Until, I got more versed in SMART goals. It was a refreshing change to view the “R” in a motivating way. Let’s discuss.
R is for Responsible:
In the SMART goal context, from an NLP perspective, we mean ecology. Is this goal good for you, your family, community or even the planet. Whew! That provided a major shift for me in my thinking about goal setting. I was happy to do an “R” check! I was also reminded that the root of the word responsible is Latin respons-, past participle stem of respondere “to respond”. To respond is active on my part. I choose to respond vs ‘responsibility’ being assigned or restrictive.
R is for Realistic:
This is a fun one. Why, yes, technically you could accomplish your goal, but given where you are and what’s happening in your life, is your goal realistic. For example, setting a goal to win Wimbledon, one of the most prestigious and competitive tennis championships, in 2019 when you’ve never played tennis before today is not realistic. Increasing your income by 500% in one year doesn’t feel very realistic to most of us. Your goal should have a realistic ‘stretch’ and signal to yourself and your unconscious mind that it’s do-able.
I hope you found my insights on the R in SMART goals helpful. As adults we spend the bulk of our waking hours ‘at work’. We only have a finite amount of time on this planet, and you can choose how to spend that time. I wish you much success on your career quest. Yours in balance, learning, growth and harmony. – Melissa DeLuca, CEO
