I’ve Got Career Itchy Feet!
Some insights on making a career change from a former Googler
I’m Italian and Irish. I share that because my family background has contributed many fun, quirky sayings that often make their way into my daily life and my approach to coaching. Case in point, ‘itchy feet’. My italian Grandmother, Erma, was a force. She left school in the 6th grade to help take care of the home and her family. She was mostly self educated and loved to read; especially her ‘scandal sheets’, those US entertainment industry gossip magazines. I loved her dearly. Often, she would pick me up from school and take me to her home until my parents finished their work days. I remember this one day vividly. I was recapping my very important day in the first grade to her. She was always very present and listened fully; you know that active empathetic reflective listening that many of us wish we could do better. Anyway, on this day, I was really frustrated with school, specifically reading class. I knew my Grandma was ‘the’ person who would understand this because she was the one that taught me to read. I retold the events that transpired and her response was, you guessed it, “You have itchy feet, Melissa”. Well, as a precocious 6 year old, I looked at her like she was crazy. I was like ‘No, I don’t have itchy feet! That’s silly.” (Taking her literally). She of course, said, “I think you do… here, let me scratch them for you.” After a couple of minutes of laughing and chasing me to try to take off my shoes, we settled in her “TV room” so she could explain. Itchy feet simply means you want to go somewhere new or start something new. And to this end, we got some new and exciting books that continued to grow my skills and my absolute love of reading! If you apply this concept to the workplace, many people have career itchy feet. It can start as a faint distraction and can get so loud as to begin de-railing your current career, resulting in declining performance, and even absenteeism, over time. So, if you have been telling yourself that you’d like to do something different, or that you are bored and unhappy, it’s time to pay attention to your itchy feet.
There are four requisites for change (which I’ll unpack in subsequent posts): 1) Getting out of your way. 2) Getting clear on what you want to do. 3) Focus and 4) Action. These are not new or revolutionary ideas, yet if we really assess whether or not we have all four components, we usually find that there are items missing or they are not detailed enough. Most people struggle with getting clear on what they want to do and it’s usually because they are in their own way. Most are motivated to ‘get away’ from an unsatisfactory situation, whether it is a manager, work content, company culture or simply a feeling or feelings (like boredom, anger, fear). If the initial motivation is to be free of something uncomfortable, then OK, it’s getting you motivated. However, if you continue to plan and focus your career goals through a lens of negative motivation, you’ll continue to repeat the cycle of discontent.
Whether positively or negatively motivated, you may find yourself having trouble jump starting the process towards meaningful change, or simply not knowing where to begin. It can be aggravating, especially if you believe you are ready, willing and open to making a career change. So, where to start? How do you get out of your way if you are not aware that you are standing in your own way?
Here’s what I call the 6 (A)s of Aspiration:
- Assistance. Enlist help. You’ll want to choose someone that can maintain objectivity and not get pulled into the story; a trusted advisor, mentor or coach. The focus will be on listening to you; that active empathetic reflective listening that I mentioned earlier is imperative here. Your ‘helper’ is listening for the context of what you are saying versus the content. Content matters, but it’s secondary to the words you choose and the patterns in which you communicate about your career.
- Assess. Once you have the help of an objective, trusted person, they are going to look for words that indicate negative emotions, like fear, anger, resentment, etc. Understanding the emotions involved is a great first step. They are also looking for limiting beliefs. Limiting beliefs are those which constrain us in some way. Just by believing them, we do not think, do or say the things that they restrict. And in doing so we live a less fulfilled, empowered life. We may have beliefs about abilities, permissions, rights, duties and so on. Limiting belief statements usually begin with “I can/can’t, I do/don’t, I must/mustn’t, I am/am not, others are/will, and it’s just how the world works.”
- Awareness. Once you are aware, you cannot be unaware! In the case of limiting beliefs, they often have developed over the course of your lifetime. You typically aren’t aware that you have them! The intent of assessment is to shed light onto what beliefs exist and the associated influences they have on your current career situation. Some limiting beliefs were created as a way to protect you, and while helpful at the time, the situation / environment may no longer be true for you, yet still, unconsciously, you have a deeply embedded belief.
- Alleviate. Alleviating negative emotions and limiting beliefs are the first steps in gaining clarity on what you truly want to do. Imagine trying to see through a dirty windshield in a torrential downpour / snow storm with windshield wipers that don’t work. How can you possibly find the road and stay on it? If you are approaching your career change through a belief like “I’m not worthy of success”, “I don’t deserve to be happy”, “I can’t change jobs because I have a family”, “I’m just not meant to make a lot of money”,”I’m not smart enough”, then you’ll continue to remain in an unfulfilling situation. There are many resources available to accomplish this important step. Do your research to find what works for you. I leverage a process called Mental and Emotional Release (MER) ™, that rapidly and easily clears this baggage.
- Alright, Alright, Alright. Celebrate! Letting go of negative emotions and limiting beliefs is impactful and worthy of a high five, pat on the back, happy dance, a day at the spa, a round of golf, a new suit, a big warm hug from a loved one; whatever floats your boat. Reward and recognize your amazing work!
- Action. The right next action with your newfound clarity is to get specific on what you want to do. What is your career AIM and goal? More to follow on AIM and goals..
I hope you found the 6(A)s of Aspiration helpful. As adults we spend the bulk of our waking hours ‘at work’. We only have a finite amount of time on this planet, and you can choose how to spend that time. I wish you much success on your career quest. Yours in balance, learning, growth and harmony. – Melissa DeLuca, CEO
