Be Impeccable with Your Word in the Business World
I’ve been sharing how I’ve been integrating the principles of the Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz into my life for the past couple of years. The Four Agreements are: 1) Be Impeccable with Your Word. 2) Don’t Take Anything Personally. 3) Don’t Make Assumptions. 4) Always Do Your Best. Last week, I discussed 4) Always Do Your Best: Link is HERE . This week, I’m feeling compelled to cover 1) Be Impeccable with Your Word.
What does Impeccable mean?
There is a reason Be Impeccable with Your Word is the first agreement. The word is powerful! It’s the power we have to create; it is a force. Depending on how you use your words they can empower you or diminish you. Words can change a life or destroy it. Yet, we don’t often think about the words we use and how they land in the fertile ground of the mind. To be literal, impeccability means to be ‘without sin’, coming from the Latin ‘pecatus’ which means ‘sin’ (Thanks Mr. Hamrock, my HS Latin teacher!). Sin means different things to different people. In its basic concept, according to the book, sin is anything you do that is against yourself, so being impeccable is not going against yourself. You are responsible for all your actions, but here’s the key, without judgement or blame. Therefore, being impeccable with your word means that you are not using the word against yourself.
Example of Impeccable in the Workplace
Here’s a hypothetical example of this concept in the workplace. If I sit in a meeting and I say to the presenter ‘that is a great idea’, meanwhile I’m harboring thoughts like ‘that’s really a stupid idea’, that intention is behind my words. As a result, it will come back to affect me. Play this forward. It’s highly likely that I would leave the meeting and share ‘the stupid idea’ comments or sentiments with people that are in my trusted tribe. Or worse yet, I instruct my team to do the exact opposite of said idea. Inevitably, this comment or instruction gets back to the person that presented in the meeting. Does that breed trust, respect and enhance productivity? Does that reflect poorly on me as a leader, employee and a steward of company culture? Yet, we have learned to lie as a habit of our communication for several reasons. Let’s discuss one primary reason; not wanting to offend the other person.
Won’t Being Impeccable With My Word offend?
No, being impeccable with your word will not offend. We often believe that if we provide constructive feedback and invite healthy debate that it might offend the other person. Because, they have put so much time, effort and energy into..(that stupid idea). We don’t want to make them feel badly. Let’s revisit the example with an impeccable approach. If I shared my balanced feedback, inclusive of positive and negative, AND suspended my agenda, I open myself up to listen more broadly and to learn. As a result, I get curious. How many amazing ideas came from something that was sub-par originally? By this approach, I can also hold a place of respect for the presenter. It breeds trust and enhances productivity, long term. And, there will come a time where I need the presenter to help me, guaranteed. Better to have this person holding mutual respect, than a vendetta. Consequently, with positive intention and some tact, being impeccable with your word is actually beneficial.
Tips for Being Impeccable With Your Word
- Make the decision to be impeccable with your word. Especially relevant, this decision alone will begin to change how you use your words.
- Listen to understand, not to respond. Let’s face it, we have agendas. Noticing this and actively letting go of your desired outcome often yields amazing results.
- Speak your truth, in all things. This takes practice and the feedback of a trusted advisor, mentor or coach. Simply stating what you like, dislike and what you need is a great start. Asking questions vs stating opinions is another great way to go. Here’s an article with some practical advice: Constructive Feedback
- Stop the gossip. Ask yourself, is making this comment really necessary? Is it kind or helpful? Is it the truth? What outcome do I hope to achieve by sharing this? The book compares gossip to a computer virus. After the code is introduced, your computer doesn’t work the same way. First, how many times have you heard that a certain leader is… (fill in the blank), then you experience that leader and you learn just the opposite? Or, secondly, you only see the (fill in the blank) because you’ve been pre-conditioned for it?
I hope you found the discussion about the first agreement, Be Impeccable With Your Word, helpful. In conclusion, when you adopt this practice, you tend to notice the positive impact in your life. Negative words, ideas and intentions don’t land like they used to, if at all. Therefore, you feel more positive, happy and at peace with yourself. You know you are using your power (of words) for good and not evil. Yes, you go, superhero.
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As adults we spend the bulk of our waking hours ‘at work’. We only have a finite amount of time on this planet, and you can choose how to spend that time. I wish you much success on your career quest. Yours in balance, learning, growth and harmony. – Melissa DeLuca, CEO
