Are You Ready to Rumble? – Dare To Lead
I’ve been spending time with the concept of conscious leadership. I’ve recently revisited Brene Brown’s Dare To Lead book. She defines a leader as anyone who takes responsibility for finding the potential in people and processes and has the courage to develop that potential. To do this one needs to be aware, present and committed. In other words, conscious. I’ll be unpacking Brene’s concepts in this series. Today, we’ll talk about getting ready to rumble with vulnerability.
Overview:
Brene outlines daring (conscious) leadership is a collection of four skill sets that are 100% teachable, observable, and measurable. She begins with the foundational skill set. The foundational skill set of courage-building is “rumbling with vulnerability.” The other three skill sets: Living into Our Values, Braving Trust, and Learning to Rise. One’s ability to be a daring leader will never be greater than one’s capacity for vulnerability.
Vulnerability:
You can’t get to daring leadership without embracing ‘the suck’, in other words, rumbling with vulnerability. Courage and fear are not mutually exclusive. Vulnerability is the emotion we experience during times of uncertainty, risk and emotional exposure. Many leaders experience vulnerability daily. Vulnerability is not winning or losing. It’s the courage to show up even when you can’t control the outcome. Feeling fear is not the issue, but how we respond to fear is. Our armor gets in the way. “We” get in the way. And, a good percentage of the time we are not aware that we are leading with our armor. To feel is to be vulnerable. And, that ‘f’ word is not often discussed, especially in business. Adaptability to change, hard conversations, feedback, problem-solving, ethical decision making, recognition, and resilience are all born of vulnerability. In her book, Brown outlines 6 myths of vulnerability. What does vulnerability mean to you?
“Who we are is how we lead.” - Brown
Rumble:
Brown describes the concept as, “To rumble is a discussion, conversation or meeting defined by a commitment to lean into vulnerability. Its to stay curious and generous. In a rumble, you stick with the “messy middle” of problem identification and solving. You take a break and circle back when needed. It’s to be fearless in owning ‘our parts’. And, lastly, it’s to listen with the same passion with which we want to be heard. The goal is to serve the work and each other, not our egos. Care and connection are the minimum thresholds to serve the people we lead.
How to begin rumbling with vulnerability:
First, get clear on whose opinions matter. Secondly, don’t grab hurtful comments and ruminate on them. Lastly, leave what is mean-spirited behind. Cruelty is cheap. Therefore, building or remaining in your armor is too high a price to pay to listen to the ‘noise’ from those that aren’t daring greatly, or even playing the game. It’s easy to judge from the cheap seats, as Brene calls it.
Build your square squad:
On a 1X1 inch piece of paper, write down the names of the people whose opinions matter. Take 10 minutes to reach out to your ‘square squad’ and share gratitude with them. Thank them for their honesty and courage in giving you real feedback; for loving you despite your imperfections. Your square squad should not be ‘yes’ people. Ask your square squad, “How do I show up when I’m vulnerable?” I call this group my personal board of directors!
As a leader, begin by creating a safe container for your team and organization:
- Take time to acknowledge what is happening and how you feel about it. “This is hard, there are many unknowns. I’m feeling uncertain and concerned.
- Then offer to share what you can when you can. And follow through!
- Ask what does support from me look like? What questions can I try to answer? What rumors or stories do you want to check out with me?
- Suggest the team writes one thing we need from the team (each other) to feel comfortable sharing and asking questions. What’s one thing that will get in the way of being honest with each other?
- Ask what does support from me look like? What doesn’t support look like? This begins to hold them accountable for what they need.
Harvard Business School professor, Amy Edmondson describes this as psychological safety. This safe space makes it possible to give tough feedback, have difficult conversations without the need to tiptoe around the truth.
I dare you to lead! We only have a finite amount of time on this planet, and you can choose how to spend that time. Do you want to armor up or step into feeling? Anoush Shafique, Director of the London School of Economics, “In the past jobs were about muscles, now they are about brains, but in the future, they will be about the heart.”
Are you ready?: Press HERE for Success
I wish you much success in your career quest. Yours in balance, learning, growth, and harmony. – Melissa DeLuca, CEO
