Are You An Imposter? – Own it, Change it, Help others
I admit I didn’t know much about imposter syndrome until 2013. I had ‘heard’ about it and had a workable understanding about the concept. Now, as an executive coach, I can see that many of my high achieving colleagues have suffered from this pattern of thinking; myself included. Are you an imposter too?
What is Imposter Syndrome?
Imposter Syndrome is the psychological pattern where one doubts their accomplishments and has a fear of being exposed as a fraud. This is despite evidence that one is skilled and successful. Perfectionism and Imposter Syndrome are tightly correlated. Depending on which research study, 70% of us experience this during our lifetime. According to psychologist Audrey Ervin, imposter syndrome can apply to anyone ‘who isn’t able to internalize and own their successes.”
Negative Emotions and Causes.
The primary emotions of doubt and fear rear their ugly heads, again! Doubting oneself and fearing exposure for something that isn’t actually valid can be debilitating. Consequently, people aren’t being, doing or having the career or lives they envision. There are several factors that fan the flames of imposter-dom ranging from early childhood experiences, personality traits to the external environmental aspects of the groups one belongs to, like their workgroup or company.
Imposter syndrome, a Google example.
While at Google, a senior level executive, requested some time with me. They specifically wanted to meet in a location that was not our daily office location. Additionally, they had their administrative assistant book the meeting under a fictitious name; like “Networking with Bob”. So, my spidey-sense was up. Something clearly wasn’t OK. I was wondering about the secrecy. When we finally met, this person was completely absorbed by their thinking. They walked in, were short of breath, spoke very rapidly and was very near panic. The trigger was an upcoming meeting with an SVP. The SVP wanted to understand a recent project, specifically about the success of the project. This person wanted me to help them prepare for the SVP meeting. I didn’t understand. This person is amazing, why did they need my help? After we did some breath-work to get ‘present’, we began to unpack the issue. Net net, this highly successful, amazing person didn’t believe they deserved the accolades. First, their ‘team’ did the work, not them. Secondly, they weren’t the ‘expert’ and consequently, were fearful of being discovered. My heart went out to them.
Tips for navigating Imposter Syndrome:
- Acknowledge how you feel. We spend a vast majority of the time ‘in our heads’ and as a result, we don’t know how we actually feel. Adopt some mindfulness practices to help you have present moment awareness. Here’s some suggestions with a helpful infographic.
- Do The Work, by Byron Katie: I recently shared this process in my blog: The Work about Work
- Work with a coach, mentor or friend to reframe your thinking. A reframe is a tool to take a concept and either change the meaning or the context. It separates intention from behavior and often causes obstacles, problems and objections to dissipate.
- Keep a brag book. This could be a physical or digital file of accolades. I have cards, emails, awards and a voicemail from my Mom… When you are having an Imposter moment, it’s helpful to dust off the brag book.
- Help others. At some point in your career, you will be in a position to lead and grow others. Open the dialogue. Recognize the signs that someone is struggling. Do you see someone wants to speak up in a meeting but doesn’t? Does a team-mate berate themselves over a minor mistake? How often does someone refuse help?
We only have a finite amount of time on this planet, and you can choose how to spend that time.
Are you ready?: Press HERE for Success
I wish you much success on your career quest. Yours in balance, learning, growth and harmony. – Melissa DeLuca, CEO
